Phoenix And The Beast
by ChloboShoka
Summary: Parody of Beauty And The Beast. Iris was turned into a beast by Dahlia. Now she's plucked up the courage to leave the sewers will she be able to break the spell and find Phoenix before Mary Sue forces Phoenix to marry her.


This Phoenix/Iris one shot is a parody of Beauty And The Beast.

Phoenix And The Beast

Iris had everything Dahlia was denied. She was glorified where Dahlia was rejected. Their mother found them useless as they had no spiritual power. Their father only wanted one of them, dumped Iris off and dragged Dahlia into greed, corruption and crime. But Dahlia had a secret, a secret only her twin sister knew: she was a witch.

The twins used to be close, but they drifted apart overtime. Dahlia considered Iris an enemy. Dahlia sneered at Iris and thought, why does Iris get away with everything? Why does everyone love her? What do they see in her? Dahlia thought her sister was nothing but a useless pretty face and blamed her for the failure of her plans.

In rage Dahlia transformed Iris into a hideous beast and made the world forget her. Ashamed of her monstrous form, Iris hid in the sewers. The noise above was her only window to the outside world. When Dahlia detected her presence in chamber in the sewer, her spirit haunted Iris in a a poem she composed.

_From sister to Judas &_  
_From beauty to beast..._  
_For eternity you will stay like this._

_Your milky complexion has turned to sour_  
_Green with aqua polka dots._  
_Brown hair patches will grow_  
_and rot thy toe. _

_Two black bulges form your eyes. _  
_You're a temple for flies. _

_Your slender body plumped to a ghastly shape_  
_Your slimy rolls and wrinkles look a state_  
_Your claws are twenty fatal daggers _

_Thy can only break the spell_  
_By kissing the one you love._  
_It's not worth the peril,_  
_Who would kiss a beast like you_?

As the years past, the hope Iris once had decayed. She knew she was to remain a beast for all time because she knew that nobody could love a beast. Iris had been caged in the sewer for over ten years and not a soul would dare speak to her since her transformation. For a long time she had been exposed to filth and grime.

Devoured in darkness that she called home. Fear had been her new best friend. If the crowds saw her in the street she would be shot dead. Then she decided: death would be better than this.

With the memories in her mind she ran to the ladder, climbed up and punched the ceiling. When she got out, she saw the night-sky glitter and the roads deserted. She saw a picture of the man she knew and loved blow into her face. She grabbed the newspaper of her face and there was another picture of him again. Best lawyer in town the papers cried.

She heard screams, jeers and laughs as she walked on by, but she didn't care. It was still heartbreaking to her ears, but she got used to it in her dreams. And now the nightmare has come true.

Iris didn't know what she wanted. Nothing captured her eyes or imagination apart from the river flowing down. Then she finally found out something she needed: an epic bath. Without any hesitation she stomped to the riverbank and dived in the pool. She felt sorry for all the fish who had consume a decade of filth, but she wanted to get rid of the smell.

* * *

Phoenix Wright was called the best lawyer in town. His wallet was getting fatter and his daughter was growing into a fine young women. But Phoenix still wasn't a hundred percent satisfied. There was something missing in his life but he couldn't figure it out. Trucy suggested marrying the model Mary Sue.

Sure she was beautiful. Long blond hair, black lipstick and green eyelashes looked good on her. Her red leather clothes showed her best assets and crossed out her flaws. Phoenix knew a lot of men were jealous of him for Mary Sue was always trying to get into his pants and seduce him whenever he saw her. A lot of them, except for Edgeworth thought he mad for denying her sexual chants.

Phoenix would always be willing to help anyone out in a case, even if they didn't want it. The truth had to come out one way or another. Mary Sue however was another story.

"She is beautiful," Phoenix told Trucy. "She's an attention seeker, rude and demanding... she's just not my type."

"Well hopefully one day you'll find the right woman."

There was a knock on the door. Trucy's half-brother, Apollo got it and as soon as he opened the door he screamed. "IT'S A BEAST!" Apollo screamed. "A HUGE SLIMY BEAST!"

"That's not the way to greet customers," Phoenix told Apollo as he walked up to the door and saw the disfigured creature through the door. "Hello there, what's your name?"

"Iris..." the beast growled. Tears rolled down her eyes creating a huge puddle at the door.

"Nice to meet you Iris," Phoenix smiled. "You're obviously in a depressed state, so come in and settle down."

Iris mumbled, "... Thank you." Iris tip-toed down Phoenix's office and Apollo hid under the sofa in freight. Phoenix frowned at Apollo, but said nothing to him. If Phoenix was being honest, he found Apollo's girlfriend Viola much more scary than Iris. When Iris sat down, she made an uncontrollable yawn that made Apollo squeal like a bat. "I was just wondering how you were?"

"I'm good," said Phoenix. "How about you?"

"God is great!" Trucy announced. "Last night I prayed that a monster would come and he arrived!"

"I'm better now," replied Iris. "I've been locked away in the sewers for a long time and it feels great to be out again."

"Aww you poor thing," moaned Trucy. "I'll go get you some cake." Before she ran to the kitchen she walked up to Phoenix and asked, "Daddy can we keep Iris please. Apollo will get used to him over time."

"You win," Phoenix answered.

* * *

Mary Sue was furious.

Why would Phoenix never respond to every single one of her emails, texts, tweets, private messages, letters and faxes? Everyday she would write a poem or two to express her love. She even sends saucy stuff in the mail just for him. Mary Sue was a hooker that knew twelve languages but she didn't want that to intimidate him. She could teach Phoenix all these languages while they were on their honeymoon so he could make even more money.

She watched Phoenix day and night and would spy on his flat. But what she was finding out was unbelievable. She saw Phoenix playing with a beast. Phoenix refused to have sex with him but was dancing around with a monster and hugged him like a pet.

Things had gone far enough, Mary Sue thought. She called up her thirty lovers and sent them all an email:

_Oh my God GUYS HELP ME!_

_2943`50748c 74573489057 754198573489 gf vnfrqgjkh 311385 4791yg g`8 ty3uirg gnrejql yg5427gy gy81r5 y g5hu1g grjeio gu grio3qh ghioqer hg geioq gweriohg bvhfiohg 4qi9pt hioqt ghqefu gh huetioq hqiot iogqey guio thiouh ioeu eruioqgy qrio wiouet ghiuq quioo eiot whur thiouw wuigy twuiog htjiowr trhu iowuity 5476892734895789gy ghuwe witgu q1y3uerg eihu gherwuio rthu eoirgu pgftoyiu wiuth ftihju gtuiwro rthuriwoug ihthyuwthiogjutklhwugetiovnhr 2943`50748c 74573489057 754198573489 gf vnfrqgjkh 311385 4791yg g`8 ty3uirg gnrejql yg5427gy gy81r5 y g5hu1g grjeio gu grio3qh ghioqer hg geioq gweriohg bvhfiohg 4qi9pt hioqt ghqefu gh huetioq hqiot iogqey guio thiouh ioeu eruioqgy qrio wiouet ghiuq quioo eiot whur thiouw wuigy twuiog htjiowr trhu iowuity 5476892734895789gy ghuwe witgu q1y3uerg eihu gherwuio rthu eoirgu pgftoyiu wiuth ftihju gtuiwro rthuriwoug ihthyuwthiogjutklhwugetiovnhr 2943`50748c 74573489057 754198573489 gf vnfrqgjkh 311385 4791yg g`8 ty3uirg gnrejql yg5427gy gy81r5 y g5hu1g grjeio gu grio3qh ghioqer hg geioq gweriohg bvhfiohg 4qi9pt hioqt ghqefu gh huetioq hqiot iogqey guio thiouh ioeu eruioqgy qrio wiouet ghiuq quioo eiot whur thiouw wuigy twuiog htjiowr trhu iowuity 5476892734895789gy ghuwe witgu q1y3uerg eihu gherwuio rthu eoirgu pgftoyiu wiuth ftihju gtuiwro rthuriwoug ihthyuwthiogjutklhwugetiovnhr_

My fingers shakey shakey shakey as I type. Something so horrible has happened. Phoenix Wright has fallen in love with a beast from the sewers when he should be in love with me we should go kill the beast. I feel like my heart has been raped. I do so much for him but he always avoid me. I won't accept being beaten in a love battle by green pooooooooo.

_Please help me!_

With Mary Sue's madness confirmed. Mary Sue and her thirty lovers marched up to Phoenix Wright's office and shouted: KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE MONSTER! KILL THE SLIME! KILL THE FILTH!

"PISS OFF!" Phoenix screamed. "You're the monster Mary-Sue!"

Mary-Sue cried the biggest cry she had ever cried. She held onto her shoulders and pinched them as she yelled. "Kill them all," Mary Sue whimpered. "If I can't have Phoenix... NO ONE CAN!" Iris roared: she didn't want to kill but she had to kill Mary Sue and her thirty lovers in order to save Phoenix and his family. She jumped against the wall and slashed Mary Sue's lovers heads off one by one. Mary Sue wailed again.

"WHY BEAST?" Mary Sue cried. "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN MY LIFE? I'M BEAUTIFUL AND YOU'RE UGLY."

"Real beauty comes from within," muttered Iris. Then Iris picked Mary Sue up and threw her out of the window.

Now everyone Iris grew close to was safe... apart from her. Iris had accidentally stabbed herself in the stomach. She howled, barked in her breaths and fainted.

Phoenix scurried to Iris as stroked her scaly skin. He could see it in her eyes that she was about to die. "Are you okay Iris?" asked Phoenix. "You got some really sharp claws there. Sorry I can't do anything for you... even if you survive, they'll probably exterminate you."

"That's okay," whispered Iris. "Thanks for your support. I'll be in a better place one day." She coughed up her blood and asked. "Just one thing before I go... can you kiss me?"

He leaned over and pressed his lips against his mouth. He knew that inside she was beautiful. Iris closed her eyes and passed away. Phoenix knew he couldn't cry for her: she died in content. He then yawned and fell asleep on top of her.

Iris thought she had died, but she had survived. She woke up next to Phoenix and she could see she was human again.


End file.
